My boss at Hobies in Santa Cruz was a stunningly beautiful woman named Eileen. She was a classic 18th century Lunar beauty. Doe eyed, soft bodied, porcelain skinned brunette with plumb purple lips like those in paintings by John Waterhouse. To say she was easy on the eyes is a super understatement. My eyes wanted to leave my head and go home with her. She was engaged to a man who was living in Colorado and attending music collage. I was still a disciple and a devoted one. I didn't let my thoughts move in her direction most probably because I never even considered that she would be interested in me. Also her beauty was inspiring to me not so sexual it seems in hind sight. I was about as Yang as they came back then. My evolution was looking toward the feminine and feminizing my nature or as I like to think of it as polishing the rough stone. I was very interested in massage and advanced body work modalities at which she had studied a few. She was an advanced Reiki practitioner, and hypnotherapist to name a few. I was a more interested in Feldincrise method, Cranial Sacral Therapy and Rolfing, more physical healing modalities.
My job there was great and I soon had cash coming out of my ears. I was a good worker and the crew there was a bunch of Mad college kids. I just couldn't believe people drank that much. Sometimes rolling in almost black out drunk in wrinkled shirts and stained ties. I However bought three classy white linen shirts and kakis that I ironed and starched daily. I had also began working with a local tie maker and had a amassed a collection of stellar silk ties. The reader should understand that before I took to the renunciates life I wore nothing but Armani which was a relatively obscure designer back in 1985. I went into the Sri Chinmoy Center and basically lived in sweats and tee shirts for 10 years. So the opportunity to show my style I was more than enthusiastic about. And an ironed apron without having to ask is the way to a restaurant managers heart.
I didn't drink but I loved how freaking nuts and sweet these kids were. They went to live shows, music festivals, local dive bars and always knew of a house party. I remember getting a ride over to Joel's house after shift and having 8 or 10 Jose Cuervo bottles rolling around at my feet. The shifts at Hobbies were long and busy and we all had alot of fun.
Eileen was a great manager, good with power, good moral and team builder, and she trained me well. After shift one day as she helping me with ticket count, she just looked at me and said: " What's this energy we have between us?" I was a bit oblivious as at that time I really had not learned to identify consciously psychic interactions. I was aware of them I just didn't pay much attention to them. I responded: "Uhhh,.. hun?"
She began to tell me about the frolicking that our energy bodies had been doing since we first met. I recognized that I had a deep connection with her. Often after I had left work her face would appear in my mind and I would feel a heart flutter. We started having hot chocolate dates at Mr. Toots in Capitola. She was a bit of a nerd and was a Scrabble super freak. She was also a professional singer with an operatic voice and loved Renaissance fairs, and an ex-lesbian. Oh yeah and we both went to the same High school; Archbishop Mitty in Cupertino. After shift one day she invited me to go with her to see a movie but the theater was closed. She suggested we drive to San Francisco to see it at a theater up there. The Theater was 3 blocks from Ananda Fuara restaurant and I was afraid of being "busted".
Obviously not that afraid. She had a fiancee and wasn't a cheater, I had a vow of celibacy. The forbidden fruit thing was thick on both sides. We hugged a lot that night and I held out for a few weeks but I was a marked man.
It was a disciples duty in the center to rat out other disciples if you even think they are doing something on the sly. I had busted some disciples in San Francisco a few times. A policy I thought was repulsive, but I understood it as order maintenance. Also I had busted my ass for years to bring disciples and build San Francisco Center and it seemed better to talk to my brothers or sisters first before throwing the grenade at them. So if it wasn't in my face I didn't care. There were a few people in the center just loved to tattle for anything. It was a malicious pleasure and I didn't understand why Guru didn't take them to task. One evening my buddy Golapendu and I were out looking for a "flick". We bumped into a prominent doctor disciple with his bombshell date in front of a theater. We ratted and Guru did nothing. I didn't really care. From it I learned people were held to different standards. I knew that the disciple "rules" were a blanket set of rules to keep a general sense of order and discipline, mostly aimed at the budding Yogis. An understanding arrived at by reading about Ramakrishna's life with his disciples and other Masters. Blanket rules were just that. People's inner life's were all so unique and their connection to the divine so differentiated that hard and fast rules, especially in the advanced stages are absurd, and detrimental to growth at some point. Morality becomes not so much a set of rules but a thing between the Divine and the yogi; a moment to moment following. It is a trial and err process where by which the intermediate yogi slowly becomes more efficient and tight with following the way.
No comments:
Post a Comment